I have many quirks that you will discover as you read this blog. I'll share one with you today as a matter of fact! I love British movies. You know the Masterpiece Theater kind? Yep, those! My very favorite, however, is Emma Thompson's version of Sense and Sensibility. As usual, a movie can never do justice to a good book. Jane Austin never married, yet she had such an understanding of people and relationships. She must have been quite the people watcher.
The thing I like about Sense and Sensibility is the ability to relate to it. No, we don't live in the Napoleonic Era, but we can all relate to one character or another in this book. I wish I could say I was the sister with good sense, but that isn't the case. My 'sensibilties' are slightly more tamed than Marianne's, but I am still guided by my emotions more than I should be. Thankfully, God managed to bring me the wise, gentle husband that He intended for me despite my misguided emotions in my younger days.
All of the romance is great, but typically the story ends there. What happens after marriage? What happens after years of marriage and children? What happens when the emotions wane? What happens between the wedding day and 'til death do us part'? That is where Titus 2:4a becomes so important.
Unfortunately, too many young women enter marriage not knowing how to love their husbands or the children that follow. I was blessed to be required to read a book right before Jeff and I married that has meant so much to our marriage. Jeff and I married relatively quickly and were very much in the feeling stages of love. However, the book we read held a great warning about how the feeling would fade and what to do next. The book was Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. I strongly encourage anyone to read it, but you must apply it in order to make it worth your while.
Dr. Chapman breaks down how people need love shown to them and the importance of showing love not according to how you want it, but how your mate needs it. That is where the application gets tough. I am all about quality time, but Jeff needs words of affirmation. I'm not too good at remember to praise him with my words, and Jeff often thinks that by telling me how proud he is or how much he loves me is sufficient. Now add in the kiddos!
Edana is a physical touch kinda girl, and oh how i want to scream sometimes when she lays all over me.It is amazing to watch Aidan's reaction when you praise him. He face lights up in such a special way. Once again, they are outside of what makes sense in my mind for showing love. I am constantly having to learn and remember what kind of love they need from me.
This is where others come in helpful. I can learn by watching women who have been successfully doing this a lot longer than me. I can also learn from others mistakes, so that I don't make the same ones. I can also pass on what I've learned to others. Have you ever been to a wedding shower where you had to write one piece of advise for the new couple? I love that. I always right the same thing. "Tell each other the story of how you met and what you were thinking often." It may not be for everyone, but Jeff's need for words of affirmation makes this a major bonus point for me! Actually, it helps me to remember also. Its good to remember and relive what started our lives together.
I've learned how to love my kids better as well. I have learned that simply stroking Edana's hair and holding her hand goes a long way with her. I'm still working on praising Aidan with words. I forget too often, but a simple that's great really does go a long way! Maybe one of the younger ones will be easy and like quality time like me. If not, I'll learn to love them as well, and I may be asking one of you for advice!
What ways do you show love to your husband and children? Is it the ways they need or just how you like to do it?
Lord, thank you for my family. Thank you for a husband who is everything I need and is always striving to grow and become more like you. Thank you for healthy, beautiful, happy children. Thank you for the love they give me and the love you have given me for them. You have blessed me beyond anything I could ever imagine. Please help me to be the wife and mom you want me to be, that they need me to be. Help me to love them in the way you created them to be loved, so that we can always be a good positive witness for You. In Jesus name, Amen.
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