Do you, or did you, ever sit and watch your kids wondering what they will, or would, grow up to become as adults? I do that often. Last week we discussed how to love our husbands and children. I'd like to follow that line of thought out a step farther today. I want to ask you a very difficult and probing question. Do you love your children enough to put aside your own dreams for them and let them be who they really are? Not to difficult, you think. Stay with me and it may be more difficult than you think.
I have four kids, and they are all vastly different. Edana may be the closest to being like me in most areas, and Aidan has a lot of his daddy in him. I'm not sure about Rileigh yet, but Declan, well, I didn't know a kid could be so much like their grandpa! Apparently God decided to reuse that mold when he created Dec because he walks like him, gestures like him, and even responds verbally like him. While they seem to take so much after other family members they are still so unique in their likes and their dislikes.
I believe that Jeremiah 29:11 can be applied to each and every person God creates on this earth. (He is the giver of life, therefore He creates everyone, even the 'accidents') If He has a plan for each of us, all we have to do is walk closely to Him and He will fulfill it. Suddenly life is so simple...until others get in the way. By others I do mean parents. Sorry, but lets go ahead and face it. The temptation to live vicariously through our children is very strong. How easy it is to put our unrealized dreams onto our children for fulfillment! I've often wondered if that is why so many kids go to college confused and unsatisfied only to give up on God.
We raise them the way we think they need to be, but in truth we are raising them to be what we want them to be. How many parents put their kids in sports as soon as they are old enough and then push them only to realize the kid hates it by the time they reach high school. How many parents want their kids to make lots of money and therefore convince them they need to be a doctor only to realize the kid can't understand chemistry or physics at all. Suddenly the kid is in college and realizing they are a failure and they don't even know if they really liked the idea of being a doctor anyway. Do they even know who they are, or what they like, or what they believe for that matter?
Look with me at Proverbs 22:6 in the Amplified Bible. It says, "Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it." I always grew up thinking that mean teaching them to live for God, however, I think it is more than that. The definition that we're given here takes me back to the fact that God has a plan for each of us and tells us we have an individual gift and bent.
Edana has taught us the toughest lessons about their bent though. Her personality is, well, I'm not sure what to call it. She is vibrant and colorful, but on her own terms. We figured out early on that she is going to express herself through her appearance. Early on we had to sit down and come up with some guidelines. Here is what we decided. We'll let her express herself the way she likes, and our part will be teaching and showing her how to do it without going overboard. And yes, she did have pink in her hair this summer and occasionally her earrings are bigger than most girls her age. I guess some girls like big bows, and Edana likes big earrings.
We'll see how that works when she becomes a teenager. Although, really, if she decides to be a little "out there" is it really that bad or is it a pride issue for me? I tend to think the second option. Some of the most Godly teens I've met are the ones whose parents let them be who they are while helping them keep their focus on God more than on themselves. Maybe if we stopped worrying so much about what our kids look like and how well they fit in, our kids wouldn't worry about it so much either.
I will be extremely surprised if Aidan is ever the popular kid in school. He will be one of the best looking, I am sure, but not popular. His personality just doesn't fit with it. He will always do things his own way, and I think it is safe to say I'm raising a comic book nerd. However, he will be big and I'm hoping that will keep him from being picked on too much! Seriously, if I worry too much about what people think of him, I will destroy who he really is. He is an artistic, musical kid that just happens to like football. I don't know what it will be like when he is older, but in my high school the two weren't supposed to meet for some reason. I don't intend to ever let anyone convince him of that! In truth, I can think of boys I went to school with that were probably talented in both, but wouldn't dare try to cross those lines.
I think the real issue is that we have gotten too focused on meeting the church's and world's standards of what is supposed to be normal. Yes, I said the church's standards too. I hate to say it, but often Christian parents are the worst at not letting their children be who they are out of fear that it might not be 'okay' in the eyes of other Christians. I don't remember the Bible saying that we all had to be alike. Actually, Romans says we are all supposed to be different parts of the body.
Ask yourself a few questions and share them with your spouse. Do you allow your children to be themselves? Are you too focused on what others will think of you if your kid is 'different'? Does your child's natural gifting and abilities line up with what you think they should be as adults? or Are you more worried about making them something you always wanted to be? Challenge yourself with these questions and take a serious evaluation of why you make the decision you do about or for your children.
Please pray with me.
Dear Lord, I am forever thankful for the family you have given me. They are my greatest earthly joy. They are also my greatest responsibility. Please give me wisdom to see their natural gifts and bent, and help me to direct and encourage them to use those to bring you Glory. Ephesians 6:4 tells us not to provoke our children to anger or resentment but to tenderly train them in the admonition of You. I don't want my dreams or way of thinking to get in the way of who you made them to be. Thank You for Your direction and leading as I raise my children. In Jesus Name, Amen.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Misguided Focus: Running in the Red Zone
As I sit here slightly at the edge of being asleep, the words of Titus 1:8b jump out at me like the loving, rebuking words of a good friend. In fact, that's what they are, the words of my Lord reminding me what He expects of me, what His desire is for me. The reasons I'm writing this Manly Monday at 8:30pm and did not write it last week are the result of me not applying these verses in my life. Titus 1:8b in the Amplified Bible reads: "sober-minded (sensible, discreet), upright and fair-minded, a devout man and religiously correct, temperate and keeping himself in hand." Now I tend to pride myself on trying to be sober-minded. Those that know me well can tell you that I can and will analyze something to death. That comes in handy when you're diagnosing psychological disorders, expositing a Scripture text, or evaluating a teaching technique and its usefulness, but doesn't automatically lend itself to making always wise choices.
According to the personality assessments my mother-in-law has given me in the past, I am what is known as phlegmatic-melancholy. In a nutshell, this means that I tend to introverted, but close and loyal to those I consider friends and that I tend to be steady, calm, and usually laid-back. That's the plus side. The not-so-goods are I tend to overestimate/underestimate how long a task will take to complete, and I think I have to have perfect conditions to work in before I complete the task. That sometimes leads me to waiting until the last minute (the "perfect" time) to do things and to think I can accomplish them in less time than what it is actually going to take me. This takes me back to the past two Sundays. By following my human personality, I put off grading my writing tests until last weekend and entering my grades until this weekend. A typical conversation between Mandee and me during these weekends was: Mandee; "So how many do you have graded?" Me: "About twenty-five". Mandee: "How many do you have left?" Me: "About ninety. It should only take me a couple of hours (this after it had taken me three or four to grade the twenty-five. See what I mean?). These two events and my handling of them were why I slept a total of four hours the last two Sunday nights and while going on little sleep is sometimes my modus operandi, it doesn't lend itself well to hearing from the Holy Spirit, especially when He knows you've made a bad decision."
Now for the rest of the verse. I strive to be upright in my thinking and I try to be fair-minded. I'm definitely not an expert in fairness, and I'm glad I know the One Who gave Moses and Solomon wisdom in making decisions. One statement that has stuck out to me over the last few years in regard to fairness is "Fairness is not everyone getting the same thing; fairness is everyone getting what they need." Isn't that good? While God is faithful and provided salvation for all, there are things He knows we as individuals need that may be different than others in our family or church. He is Jehovah-Jireh, and He provides these things, bless His Name! I also am commiting to striving to being more of a devout and religiously correct man. These come through practice of devotion to God, following His commands, and knowing His truth. His Word says we will know the truth and it will set us free. Jesus said if we abide in Him, and His words abide in us, we will bear much fruit. I want to be fruitful for Him, and to use my time here for Him, how about you?
Now here's the part I'm having trouble with, the last two qualities, being temperate, and keeping myself in hand. The God's Word Translation translates temperate and keeping himself in hand as "self-control". This is definitely an area where I need to grow, whether it's in what comes from my mouth or thinking I need to eat two cinnamon rolls in the teacher's lounge along with three cups of coffee, or handling the responsiblity of organizing my life around Christ in such a way that I don't wear myself thin and I keep Him in the very middle of it at all times. I need to be put in check sometimes, just like a hockey player being stopped at the wall. The awesome thing is, God does it with love and not a desire to leave the imprint of my face on the Plexiglass. Sometimes he does it just to stop me long enough to help me rest and get refocused. I notice that when I'm focused on Him, things just go smoother overall. Not perfect all the time, but definitely smoother. This is echoed in the words of David in Psalm 16:8 (KJV) "I have set the Lord always before me; because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved." and in Hebrews 12:1,2 (NLT) "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith."
Are you struggling with keeping your focus, organizing your priorities around Jesus, finding yourself pushing your devotions, your prayer times, your family times, your blog time, ministry time further and further back in your mind, day planner, or Google calendar? Hear the words of Jesus in Matthew 11:28 - 30 from The Message: 28-30"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
Let's accept His invitation. The other stuff can wait a while until we get back. Lord, thank for making me physically and mentally able to work. Your Word says if a man does not work, he does not eat. From Eden on, your promise has been that man would earn his way by the sweat of his brow. But you have also promises never to leave us and never to forsake us. Work is not the end in and of itself, but for whom we do the work that matters in this life. As the verses about say, there are times when we need to come to You, to rest in Your arms. Jesus, you modeled this better than anyone else ever, always finding quiet moments to be refreshed and strengthened in the arms of Your Father. Even when facing the cross, Your priority was an encounter with the Father. May we follow your example. Lord, in my own life, and maybe the lives of others reading this, may we have heavenly and godly wisdom from You that allows us to always put You first, then our families, then to structure our days and tasks in such ways that there is maximum output with minimum burnout. We love you and recognize that every good gift comes from above. In Jesus' Holy Name I pray, Amen.
According to the personality assessments my mother-in-law has given me in the past, I am what is known as phlegmatic-melancholy. In a nutshell, this means that I tend to introverted, but close and loyal to those I consider friends and that I tend to be steady, calm, and usually laid-back. That's the plus side. The not-so-goods are I tend to overestimate/underestimate how long a task will take to complete, and I think I have to have perfect conditions to work in before I complete the task. That sometimes leads me to waiting until the last minute (the "perfect" time) to do things and to think I can accomplish them in less time than what it is actually going to take me. This takes me back to the past two Sundays. By following my human personality, I put off grading my writing tests until last weekend and entering my grades until this weekend. A typical conversation between Mandee and me during these weekends was: Mandee; "So how many do you have graded?" Me: "About twenty-five". Mandee: "How many do you have left?" Me: "About ninety. It should only take me a couple of hours (this after it had taken me three or four to grade the twenty-five. See what I mean?). These two events and my handling of them were why I slept a total of four hours the last two Sunday nights and while going on little sleep is sometimes my modus operandi, it doesn't lend itself well to hearing from the Holy Spirit, especially when He knows you've made a bad decision."
Now for the rest of the verse. I strive to be upright in my thinking and I try to be fair-minded. I'm definitely not an expert in fairness, and I'm glad I know the One Who gave Moses and Solomon wisdom in making decisions. One statement that has stuck out to me over the last few years in regard to fairness is "Fairness is not everyone getting the same thing; fairness is everyone getting what they need." Isn't that good? While God is faithful and provided salvation for all, there are things He knows we as individuals need that may be different than others in our family or church. He is Jehovah-Jireh, and He provides these things, bless His Name! I also am commiting to striving to being more of a devout and religiously correct man. These come through practice of devotion to God, following His commands, and knowing His truth. His Word says we will know the truth and it will set us free. Jesus said if we abide in Him, and His words abide in us, we will bear much fruit. I want to be fruitful for Him, and to use my time here for Him, how about you?
Now here's the part I'm having trouble with, the last two qualities, being temperate, and keeping myself in hand. The God's Word Translation translates temperate and keeping himself in hand as "self-control". This is definitely an area where I need to grow, whether it's in what comes from my mouth or thinking I need to eat two cinnamon rolls in the teacher's lounge along with three cups of coffee, or handling the responsiblity of organizing my life around Christ in such a way that I don't wear myself thin and I keep Him in the very middle of it at all times. I need to be put in check sometimes, just like a hockey player being stopped at the wall. The awesome thing is, God does it with love and not a desire to leave the imprint of my face on the Plexiglass. Sometimes he does it just to stop me long enough to help me rest and get refocused. I notice that when I'm focused on Him, things just go smoother overall. Not perfect all the time, but definitely smoother. This is echoed in the words of David in Psalm 16:8 (KJV) "I have set the Lord always before me; because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved." and in Hebrews 12:1,2 (NLT) "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith."
Are you struggling with keeping your focus, organizing your priorities around Jesus, finding yourself pushing your devotions, your prayer times, your family times, your blog time, ministry time further and further back in your mind, day planner, or Google calendar? Hear the words of Jesus in Matthew 11:28 - 30 from The Message: 28-30"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
Let's accept His invitation. The other stuff can wait a while until we get back. Lord, thank for making me physically and mentally able to work. Your Word says if a man does not work, he does not eat. From Eden on, your promise has been that man would earn his way by the sweat of his brow. But you have also promises never to leave us and never to forsake us. Work is not the end in and of itself, but for whom we do the work that matters in this life. As the verses about say, there are times when we need to come to You, to rest in Your arms. Jesus, you modeled this better than anyone else ever, always finding quiet moments to be refreshed and strengthened in the arms of Your Father. Even when facing the cross, Your priority was an encounter with the Father. May we follow your example. Lord, in my own life, and maybe the lives of others reading this, may we have heavenly and godly wisdom from You that allows us to always put You first, then our families, then to structure our days and tasks in such ways that there is maximum output with minimum burnout. We love you and recognize that every good gift comes from above. In Jesus' Holy Name I pray, Amen.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
"Is love a fancy or a feeling?"
I have many quirks that you will discover as you read this blog. I'll share one with you today as a matter of fact! I love British movies. You know the Masterpiece Theater kind? Yep, those! My very favorite, however, is Emma Thompson's version of Sense and Sensibility. As usual, a movie can never do justice to a good book. Jane Austin never married, yet she had such an understanding of people and relationships. She must have been quite the people watcher.
The thing I like about Sense and Sensibility is the ability to relate to it. No, we don't live in the Napoleonic Era, but we can all relate to one character or another in this book. I wish I could say I was the sister with good sense, but that isn't the case. My 'sensibilties' are slightly more tamed than Marianne's, but I am still guided by my emotions more than I should be. Thankfully, God managed to bring me the wise, gentle husband that He intended for me despite my misguided emotions in my younger days.
All of the romance is great, but typically the story ends there. What happens after marriage? What happens after years of marriage and children? What happens when the emotions wane? What happens between the wedding day and 'til death do us part'? That is where Titus 2:4a becomes so important.
Unfortunately, too many young women enter marriage not knowing how to love their husbands or the children that follow. I was blessed to be required to read a book right before Jeff and I married that has meant so much to our marriage. Jeff and I married relatively quickly and were very much in the feeling stages of love. However, the book we read held a great warning about how the feeling would fade and what to do next. The book was Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. I strongly encourage anyone to read it, but you must apply it in order to make it worth your while.
Dr. Chapman breaks down how people need love shown to them and the importance of showing love not according to how you want it, but how your mate needs it. That is where the application gets tough. I am all about quality time, but Jeff needs words of affirmation. I'm not too good at remember to praise him with my words, and Jeff often thinks that by telling me how proud he is or how much he loves me is sufficient. Now add in the kiddos!
Edana is a physical touch kinda girl, and oh how i want to scream sometimes when she lays all over me.It is amazing to watch Aidan's reaction when you praise him. He face lights up in such a special way. Once again, they are outside of what makes sense in my mind for showing love. I am constantly having to learn and remember what kind of love they need from me.
This is where others come in helpful. I can learn by watching women who have been successfully doing this a lot longer than me. I can also learn from others mistakes, so that I don't make the same ones. I can also pass on what I've learned to others. Have you ever been to a wedding shower where you had to write one piece of advise for the new couple? I love that. I always right the same thing. "Tell each other the story of how you met and what you were thinking often." It may not be for everyone, but Jeff's need for words of affirmation makes this a major bonus point for me! Actually, it helps me to remember also. Its good to remember and relive what started our lives together.
I've learned how to love my kids better as well. I have learned that simply stroking Edana's hair and holding her hand goes a long way with her. I'm still working on praising Aidan with words. I forget too often, but a simple that's great really does go a long way! Maybe one of the younger ones will be easy and like quality time like me. If not, I'll learn to love them as well, and I may be asking one of you for advice!
What ways do you show love to your husband and children? Is it the ways they need or just how you like to do it?
Lord, thank you for my family. Thank you for a husband who is everything I need and is always striving to grow and become more like you. Thank you for healthy, beautiful, happy children. Thank you for the love they give me and the love you have given me for them. You have blessed me beyond anything I could ever imagine. Please help me to be the wife and mom you want me to be, that they need me to be. Help me to love them in the way you created them to be loved, so that we can always be a good positive witness for You. In Jesus name, Amen.
The thing I like about Sense and Sensibility is the ability to relate to it. No, we don't live in the Napoleonic Era, but we can all relate to one character or another in this book. I wish I could say I was the sister with good sense, but that isn't the case. My 'sensibilties' are slightly more tamed than Marianne's, but I am still guided by my emotions more than I should be. Thankfully, God managed to bring me the wise, gentle husband that He intended for me despite my misguided emotions in my younger days.
All of the romance is great, but typically the story ends there. What happens after marriage? What happens after years of marriage and children? What happens when the emotions wane? What happens between the wedding day and 'til death do us part'? That is where Titus 2:4a becomes so important.
Unfortunately, too many young women enter marriage not knowing how to love their husbands or the children that follow. I was blessed to be required to read a book right before Jeff and I married that has meant so much to our marriage. Jeff and I married relatively quickly and were very much in the feeling stages of love. However, the book we read held a great warning about how the feeling would fade and what to do next. The book was Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. I strongly encourage anyone to read it, but you must apply it in order to make it worth your while.
Dr. Chapman breaks down how people need love shown to them and the importance of showing love not according to how you want it, but how your mate needs it. That is where the application gets tough. I am all about quality time, but Jeff needs words of affirmation. I'm not too good at remember to praise him with my words, and Jeff often thinks that by telling me how proud he is or how much he loves me is sufficient. Now add in the kiddos!
Edana is a physical touch kinda girl, and oh how i want to scream sometimes when she lays all over me.It is amazing to watch Aidan's reaction when you praise him. He face lights up in such a special way. Once again, they are outside of what makes sense in my mind for showing love. I am constantly having to learn and remember what kind of love they need from me.
This is where others come in helpful. I can learn by watching women who have been successfully doing this a lot longer than me. I can also learn from others mistakes, so that I don't make the same ones. I can also pass on what I've learned to others. Have you ever been to a wedding shower where you had to write one piece of advise for the new couple? I love that. I always right the same thing. "Tell each other the story of how you met and what you were thinking often." It may not be for everyone, but Jeff's need for words of affirmation makes this a major bonus point for me! Actually, it helps me to remember also. Its good to remember and relive what started our lives together.
I've learned how to love my kids better as well. I have learned that simply stroking Edana's hair and holding her hand goes a long way with her. I'm still working on praising Aidan with words. I forget too often, but a simple that's great really does go a long way! Maybe one of the younger ones will be easy and like quality time like me. If not, I'll learn to love them as well, and I may be asking one of you for advice!
What ways do you show love to your husband and children? Is it the ways they need or just how you like to do it?
Lord, thank you for my family. Thank you for a husband who is everything I need and is always striving to grow and become more like you. Thank you for healthy, beautiful, happy children. Thank you for the love they give me and the love you have given me for them. You have blessed me beyond anything I could ever imagine. Please help me to be the wife and mom you want me to be, that they need me to be. Help me to love them in the way you created them to be loved, so that we can always be a good positive witness for You. In Jesus name, Amen.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
The Long Awaited Blog
This has been a difficult post for me. I've set at my computer many times, fingers to keys, ready to type only to walk away. I have even tried to talk God into letting me change the topic. Jeremiah was right in comparing an unspoken word from the Lord to a "fire shut up in [his] bones." Its a week late, but I hope it speaks to some of you!
Genesis 1:27 clearly states that God made man in His image, but its hard to understand that concept. Therefore, we easily give in to the world's ideas about how we should look. We justify this by saying that somehow the verse saying to be in the world but not of it doesn't really apply to this aspect of life. Unfortunately, it does.
As a little girl, I was dubbed the short chubby one of my childhood friends. When your best friend grows up to be 6 feet tall, its hard not to look short next her. The title stuck, however, and I believed it. My brother and best friend's brother gave us nicknames as preteens that further confirmed my believe. I looked in the mirror and saw simply what everyone told me I was...short, fat, and manly looking. (I did look just like my dad after all)
I reached the pinnacle of hating my fat build in eighth grade when I brought home my school picture. It was AWFUL. I'm sure mom meant well, but she refused to leave my picture from the year before up and get rid of the hideous new picture I had brought home. I looked at it every single day. By the time ninth grade rolled around, I refused to order school pictures and "forgot" the money on picture day. The only problem was I had to look at the terrible picture for another year. A nasty, ungodly resolve begin to grow inside me.
I began to eat very little, and after suffering from pneumonia over Christmas break, the effects of starvation did the trick. I went from the massive size nine (roll eyes here) to a tiny size 5/6. I was hooked. I never starved myself completely, until my junior and senior years. Then I began "pretending" to eat so that people would think I was really eating. I know people knew what I was doing, but unfortunately, the ones who saw it only gripped about me to each other.
By the spring of 1999, my short 5 foot 7 inch frame was a mere 115 pounds, and I was sick. I still struggle with hypoglycemia to this day, and I realize now that I had symptoms of it before I lost all the weight. However, living on mountain dew, really messed me up, and I thank God that it did. After several frightening spells, I finally told my mom something was wrong. When she took me to the doctor, the first words out of his mouth to me where, "you have to gain 10 at least pounds." Then I got a stern scary lecture and told that I would need to eat every three hours and cut out sugar. (no mountain dew) I was devastated and scared.
I was thankful for the doctor not beating around the bush with me, but the true issue was never dealt with properly. I would eat too much at a meal and feel guilt, so I would starve myself and mess my glucose levels up again. It was a very frustrating cycle. To be honest, it still is. I no longer intentionally starve myself, but I struggle with my eating habits. However, I have found a nugget of Truth that I cling to in my struggle.
As long as I am His child, I am a temple for the Holy Spirit. 1Corinthians 3:16 and 17 says, "Don’t you know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in you? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him because God’s temple is holy. You are that holy temple!" (GWT) My job isn't to make this temple beautiful in the world's eyes but to care for it and let God make it beautiful. I tell my oldest daughter often, that I exercise and eat right (well, try to anyway) to be healthy not to be skinny. I struggle with the temptation to look 'good' still, but the fight is getting easier all the time!
The godless views of beauty will never be satisfied. God's view of beauty is a different matter. The world's ideas of beauty have changed many times over the years. If I'd been born in the 30's or 40's, I could have given Marilyn Monroe a run for her money! I fear the Lord, though, and according to Proverbs 31:30, that is what is truly praise worthy.
Please pray with me.
Father, thank you for my health and a body that is capable of exercise and activity. Thank you, for making a way that Your Spirit can live inside of me, without Him I would be nothing. Help me to see myself as you do, as your blessed, consecrated temple. Give me wisdom to know how to best care for my body, and convict me to stay healthy. Most of all, please give me strength to fight against the desire to conform to the world and look down on the body You gave me. "Every good and perfect gift comes from above..." Remind me often that my body is included in the gifts you've given me. Thank you for your mercy and wisdom. In Jesus name, Amen.
Genesis 1:27 clearly states that God made man in His image, but its hard to understand that concept. Therefore, we easily give in to the world's ideas about how we should look. We justify this by saying that somehow the verse saying to be in the world but not of it doesn't really apply to this aspect of life. Unfortunately, it does.
As a little girl, I was dubbed the short chubby one of my childhood friends. When your best friend grows up to be 6 feet tall, its hard not to look short next her. The title stuck, however, and I believed it. My brother and best friend's brother gave us nicknames as preteens that further confirmed my believe. I looked in the mirror and saw simply what everyone told me I was...short, fat, and manly looking. (I did look just like my dad after all)
I reached the pinnacle of hating my fat build in eighth grade when I brought home my school picture. It was AWFUL. I'm sure mom meant well, but she refused to leave my picture from the year before up and get rid of the hideous new picture I had brought home. I looked at it every single day. By the time ninth grade rolled around, I refused to order school pictures and "forgot" the money on picture day. The only problem was I had to look at the terrible picture for another year. A nasty, ungodly resolve begin to grow inside me.
I began to eat very little, and after suffering from pneumonia over Christmas break, the effects of starvation did the trick. I went from the massive size nine (roll eyes here) to a tiny size 5/6. I was hooked. I never starved myself completely, until my junior and senior years. Then I began "pretending" to eat so that people would think I was really eating. I know people knew what I was doing, but unfortunately, the ones who saw it only gripped about me to each other.
By the spring of 1999, my short 5 foot 7 inch frame was a mere 115 pounds, and I was sick. I still struggle with hypoglycemia to this day, and I realize now that I had symptoms of it before I lost all the weight. However, living on mountain dew, really messed me up, and I thank God that it did. After several frightening spells, I finally told my mom something was wrong. When she took me to the doctor, the first words out of his mouth to me where, "you have to gain 10 at least pounds." Then I got a stern scary lecture and told that I would need to eat every three hours and cut out sugar. (no mountain dew) I was devastated and scared.
I was thankful for the doctor not beating around the bush with me, but the true issue was never dealt with properly. I would eat too much at a meal and feel guilt, so I would starve myself and mess my glucose levels up again. It was a very frustrating cycle. To be honest, it still is. I no longer intentionally starve myself, but I struggle with my eating habits. However, I have found a nugget of Truth that I cling to in my struggle.
As long as I am His child, I am a temple for the Holy Spirit. 1Corinthians 3:16 and 17 says, "Don’t you know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in you? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him because God’s temple is holy. You are that holy temple!" (GWT) My job isn't to make this temple beautiful in the world's eyes but to care for it and let God make it beautiful. I tell my oldest daughter often, that I exercise and eat right (well, try to anyway) to be healthy not to be skinny. I struggle with the temptation to look 'good' still, but the fight is getting easier all the time!
The godless views of beauty will never be satisfied. God's view of beauty is a different matter. The world's ideas of beauty have changed many times over the years. If I'd been born in the 30's or 40's, I could have given Marilyn Monroe a run for her money! I fear the Lord, though, and according to Proverbs 31:30, that is what is truly praise worthy.
Please pray with me.
Father, thank you for my health and a body that is capable of exercise and activity. Thank you, for making a way that Your Spirit can live inside of me, without Him I would be nothing. Help me to see myself as you do, as your blessed, consecrated temple. Give me wisdom to know how to best care for my body, and convict me to stay healthy. Most of all, please give me strength to fight against the desire to conform to the world and look down on the body You gave me. "Every good and perfect gift comes from above..." Remind me often that my body is included in the gifts you've given me. Thank you for your mercy and wisdom. In Jesus name, Amen.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Weak is the New Strong
Happy Manly Monday! I know last week I departed from the usual Titus 1 study and application and guess what? I'm doing it again for the next couple of weeks. When I'm teaching and preaching I always want to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit and follow wherever He goes. Well, where He went this morning at 6:00 am was straight to my heart to talk about real strength. So here goes.....
Those of you who know me personally know that in no world would I be classified as being especially physically strong. Now don't get me wrong, I can do OK on the basketball court (or at least I could when I still worked at Teen Challenge and was still in shape) and I can help OK with some heavy lifting. But let's face it, you're probably not going to see me at World Gym any time soon putting up 300 lbs. on the bench press. For what I lack in physical strength, I've tried to make up for in spiritual and mental strength. I try to exercise my spirit through reading God's Word, spending time with Him and other believers, and praying in the Holy Spirit. I try to continue developing my mental strength through reading books on a variety of topics from history to Christian growth to some of the latest teen fiction (keeping up with 7th grade English students and all). What I've been noticing lately though in myself has been a tendency to rely on my own strengths and not God's. What this has led to has been worry, stress, and even moments of frustration and misdirected anger.
This morning, as I sat on the couch enjoying the quiet of the morning broken only by the sound of fresh coffee brewing, I asked God what He wanted me to read from His Word. His answer: Isaiah 22:3. Here's how this verse reads in the Amplified Bible: "All your [military] leaders have fled together; without the bow [which they had thrown away] they have been taken captive and bound by the archers. All of you who were found were bound together [as captives], though they had fled far away." Your response right now may be what mine was this morning: Huh??? Then I sensed the Holy Spirit urging me to read on in Isaiah 22. As I did I realized that I was reading the words the Lord spoke through the prophet Isaiah during the reign of King Hezekiah. This particular passage refers to the siege of the city of Jerusalem by the army of Assyria. Even though Hezekiah was making reforms in the land and working hard to turn the people's hearts back to God, God still allowed the Assyrians to attack the city. Why? We'll talk about that in a moment.
Some of the verses in Isaiah 22 and 2 Chronicles 22 are very telling about the preparations for war that were happening and the attitude of those who made them. Isaiah 22:8 states that God removed the protective covering of Judah and the people began to look to the weapons of the king's armory. Isaiah 22:9, 10 show that the people broke down houses to get materials to repair breaches in the walls and collected water. Isaiah 22:11-13 are perhaps some of the most telling concerning the attitude of the people. They made a reservoir for a pool between two of their walls, but did not look to the Maker of the pool and the Planner of this time. Even when the Lord called them to fasting and praying, they decided there was no hope for them and instead planned one last hurrah before they died, complete with feasting and drinking. In 2 Chronicles 32, we see Hezekiah taking courage (v. 5) and building up the broken wall, raising towers upon it, building another wall, strengthening the City of David, and making abundant shields and weapons. We see him in V. 6 setting captains of war over the people and gathering them together. In verse 7 he tells the people, "Be strong and courageous. Be not afraid or dismayed before the king of Assyria and all the horde that is with him; for there is Another with us greater than [all those] with him." (AMP) Hezekiah continues in verse 8, "With him is an arm of flesh, but with us is the Lord our God to help us and to fight our battles."
These show great preparation and an inspiring speech, but I must wonder a little if Hezekiah truly believed what he said. We see him later spreading the threatening letter from the Assyrian commander before the Lord and he and Isaiah praying for deliverance. We see God sending His angel and the angel slaying 185,000 Assyrian troops in their tents and working a great deliverance. However, when we lay 2 Chronicles 32 alongside Isaiah 22, I wonder if Hezekiah needed to make all the repairs and make all the weapons in the first place. Based on what the Lord says through Isaiah, it would appear that had the people prayed and fasted in the first place, He would have worked their deliverance anyway. Sometimes as Christian men, we face a trial or a battle and we know the right things to say; "If God is for us, who can be against us?" and "The battle is the Lord's not mine" and yet we still build up our own walls and make our own weapons and only when things get really tight to we fall our faces before God with fasting and weeping and seek Him for His outstretched arm and delivering hand. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not saying don't prepare to meet life's trials head on. I just think sometimes (I know it's true in my own life and has been lately) we make all the battle preparations, looking at our own resources and our own strength first, then we seek the One Who gave us those resources in the first place. Didn't God rebuke even David for numbering his troops and looking at his own strength? Had David forgotten that God could do more through him with a sling and a stone than David could do on his own with the assembled might of Israel and Judah? In what areas of our lives have we been trying to control things and fight in our own strength?
So why did God allow Assyria to attack Judah even when Hezekiah was doing the right things?. I don't know the full answer to that. Why does God allow anything bad to happen to us? But perhaps at least in part it was to show them that when it comes down to it, He is the Source of all our strength and He wants to show Himself strong on behalf of His children. What father wouldn't?
Psalm 84:5a says, "Blessed [happy, fortunate, to be envied] is the man whose strength is in You." Paul said in 2 Corinthians 12 that he had the realization that God's strength and power are made perfect in our weaknesses. He said then that he would glory in his weaknesses and infirmities that the strength and power of Christ may rest upon him. How many of us as men glory in our weaknesses? What will it take for us to realize our weaknesses early in the battle and to call on Him Who desires to be our Strength and Salvation?
Lord, I confess that lately I have been trying to to things in my own strength. When facing tests, battles, and trials, I know the "right" things to say, but that doesn't always mean I surrender my weaknesses fully to Your strength. May we as men learn that in ourselves, we are not as strong as we think we are, and that in You, we are stronger than we ever thought we could be. May we be strong in You and the power of Your might (Ephesians 6:10). May we realize that unless You build the house, they who build it labor in vain and unless You keep the city, the watchman wakes but in vain (Psalm 127:1). In our weaknesses, show Yourself mighty on our behalf to us, our families, our churches, our communities, and our nation. In Jesus' precious and strong name I pray, Amen.
Those of you who know me personally know that in no world would I be classified as being especially physically strong. Now don't get me wrong, I can do OK on the basketball court (or at least I could when I still worked at Teen Challenge and was still in shape) and I can help OK with some heavy lifting. But let's face it, you're probably not going to see me at World Gym any time soon putting up 300 lbs. on the bench press. For what I lack in physical strength, I've tried to make up for in spiritual and mental strength. I try to exercise my spirit through reading God's Word, spending time with Him and other believers, and praying in the Holy Spirit. I try to continue developing my mental strength through reading books on a variety of topics from history to Christian growth to some of the latest teen fiction (keeping up with 7th grade English students and all). What I've been noticing lately though in myself has been a tendency to rely on my own strengths and not God's. What this has led to has been worry, stress, and even moments of frustration and misdirected anger.
This morning, as I sat on the couch enjoying the quiet of the morning broken only by the sound of fresh coffee brewing, I asked God what He wanted me to read from His Word. His answer: Isaiah 22:3. Here's how this verse reads in the Amplified Bible: "All your [military] leaders have fled together; without the bow [which they had thrown away] they have been taken captive and bound by the archers. All of you who were found were bound together [as captives], though they had fled far away." Your response right now may be what mine was this morning: Huh??? Then I sensed the Holy Spirit urging me to read on in Isaiah 22. As I did I realized that I was reading the words the Lord spoke through the prophet Isaiah during the reign of King Hezekiah. This particular passage refers to the siege of the city of Jerusalem by the army of Assyria. Even though Hezekiah was making reforms in the land and working hard to turn the people's hearts back to God, God still allowed the Assyrians to attack the city. Why? We'll talk about that in a moment.
Some of the verses in Isaiah 22 and 2 Chronicles 22 are very telling about the preparations for war that were happening and the attitude of those who made them. Isaiah 22:8 states that God removed the protective covering of Judah and the people began to look to the weapons of the king's armory. Isaiah 22:9, 10 show that the people broke down houses to get materials to repair breaches in the walls and collected water. Isaiah 22:11-13 are perhaps some of the most telling concerning the attitude of the people. They made a reservoir for a pool between two of their walls, but did not look to the Maker of the pool and the Planner of this time. Even when the Lord called them to fasting and praying, they decided there was no hope for them and instead planned one last hurrah before they died, complete with feasting and drinking. In 2 Chronicles 32, we see Hezekiah taking courage (v. 5) and building up the broken wall, raising towers upon it, building another wall, strengthening the City of David, and making abundant shields and weapons. We see him in V. 6 setting captains of war over the people and gathering them together. In verse 7 he tells the people, "Be strong and courageous. Be not afraid or dismayed before the king of Assyria and all the horde that is with him; for there is Another with us greater than [all those] with him." (AMP) Hezekiah continues in verse 8, "With him is an arm of flesh, but with us is the Lord our God to help us and to fight our battles."
These show great preparation and an inspiring speech, but I must wonder a little if Hezekiah truly believed what he said. We see him later spreading the threatening letter from the Assyrian commander before the Lord and he and Isaiah praying for deliverance. We see God sending His angel and the angel slaying 185,000 Assyrian troops in their tents and working a great deliverance. However, when we lay 2 Chronicles 32 alongside Isaiah 22, I wonder if Hezekiah needed to make all the repairs and make all the weapons in the first place. Based on what the Lord says through Isaiah, it would appear that had the people prayed and fasted in the first place, He would have worked their deliverance anyway. Sometimes as Christian men, we face a trial or a battle and we know the right things to say; "If God is for us, who can be against us?" and "The battle is the Lord's not mine" and yet we still build up our own walls and make our own weapons and only when things get really tight to we fall our faces before God with fasting and weeping and seek Him for His outstretched arm and delivering hand. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not saying don't prepare to meet life's trials head on. I just think sometimes (I know it's true in my own life and has been lately) we make all the battle preparations, looking at our own resources and our own strength first, then we seek the One Who gave us those resources in the first place. Didn't God rebuke even David for numbering his troops and looking at his own strength? Had David forgotten that God could do more through him with a sling and a stone than David could do on his own with the assembled might of Israel and Judah? In what areas of our lives have we been trying to control things and fight in our own strength?
So why did God allow Assyria to attack Judah even when Hezekiah was doing the right things?. I don't know the full answer to that. Why does God allow anything bad to happen to us? But perhaps at least in part it was to show them that when it comes down to it, He is the Source of all our strength and He wants to show Himself strong on behalf of His children. What father wouldn't?
Psalm 84:5a says, "Blessed [happy, fortunate, to be envied] is the man whose strength is in You." Paul said in 2 Corinthians 12 that he had the realization that God's strength and power are made perfect in our weaknesses. He said then that he would glory in his weaknesses and infirmities that the strength and power of Christ may rest upon him. How many of us as men glory in our weaknesses? What will it take for us to realize our weaknesses early in the battle and to call on Him Who desires to be our Strength and Salvation?
Lord, I confess that lately I have been trying to to things in my own strength. When facing tests, battles, and trials, I know the "right" things to say, but that doesn't always mean I surrender my weaknesses fully to Your strength. May we as men learn that in ourselves, we are not as strong as we think we are, and that in You, we are stronger than we ever thought we could be. May we be strong in You and the power of Your might (Ephesians 6:10). May we realize that unless You build the house, they who build it labor in vain and unless You keep the city, the watchman wakes but in vain (Psalm 127:1). In our weaknesses, show Yourself mighty on our behalf to us, our families, our churches, our communities, and our nation. In Jesus' precious and strong name I pray, Amen.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Yo Joe! : Creating Great Heroes
Yo Joe! For men of my generation, that battle cry takes us back to many afternoons spent watching the adventures of that team of Great American Heroes known as G.I. Joe and then acting them out with our favorite G.I. Joe and Cobra figures and vehicles. Some of my favorite characters were: Snake Eyes (wasn't he everybody's favorite?), Storm Shadow, Airtight, Flint, the Dreadnoks, Lady Jaye, Roadblock, and others too numerous to mention. My best friend and I always wondered about the blueprints that came with every vehicle you bought: If those blueprints were available, why didn't the U.S. military really build those vehicles? Or did they...?
On another of our recent trips to the children's library in Prarie Grove, Aidan ran across the dvd of "G.I. Joe: The Movie". When I read the back of the case, I was immediately transported back to my 7th or 8th grade years when this particular movie was shown as a mini-series during the normal G.I. Joe afternoon time slot. For five straight days, I remember trying to hurry my dad out of his classroom and into his truck so I wouldn't miss that day's installment. The basic plot involves the Joe team having to protect a Broadcast Energy Transmitter machine from the combined forces of Cobra and Cobra-La (a strange underground world inhabited by plant and insect-type creatures.) You find out in the movie that the ruler of Cobra-La is actually responsible for starting the whole Cobra organization to begin with, and his plan is to use the machine to activate spore weapons in space that will turn all the humans on earth into primitive forms of themselves (pretty heavy stuff for an afternoon cartoon), In somewhat of a subplot, there is a group of new G.I. Joe recruits that are going to have to prove themselves on this mission. One of these is Lt. Falcon, a capable but very irresponsible Green Beret. During one important sequence, he brings a date into the Joes' secret prison facility where they have Serpentor, the Cobra Emperor (it was always about snakes with them), held prisoner. The date turns out to be a Cobra spy, and while Lt. Falcon is busy trying to woo a fellow G.I. Joe (a female ninja; he tries to be a ladies' man) instead of watching the security cameras, Cobra forces are able to break in and rescue their emperor. This sets in motion the whole space spores turning people into animals plan.
Because this is one of numerous mistakes that Lt. Falcon has made, he is called before an armed services court to face court-martial. The court decides that Falcon should be court-martialed, and only the intervention of his half-brother Duke, a G.I. Joe Staff Sergeant, saves him from this fate. Duke tells the court that even though Falcon has made mistakes, he still believes he has a great deal of potential. It is then decided that Falcon will be sent to Sgt. Slaughter (a G.I. Joe and WWF wrestler!) for some much-needed training in focus and self-discipline. I won't give away the rest of the movie, but Falcon must learn to put his mistakes behind him and become the leader everyone sees in him so that he can do his part to save the day. At a later point, Duke even allows himself to be injured while protecting Falcon, a circumstance that helps motivate Falcon on his reluctant journey to leadership and action.
Now you might be saying: "Great trip down memory lane, but we've been talking recently out of Titus 1. What does this week's entry have to do with anything?" In Titus 1:8, Paul writes that a bishop must be "a lover of good men". In the Amplified Bible, this Scripture is translated as "a lover of goodness [of good people and good things]. My question this week is: How many of us are investing good things in good people? How many of us see people, even people who've made many mistakes, and thought, "I still see something good in that person. I want to invest in him or her"? Sometimes we may not know the effect our investment may have later on, even on our own lives. In 1 Samuel 26, we are introduced to Abishai, David's nephew, the son of David's half-sister Zeruiah. He and David inflitrate King Saul's camp by night while the king and his army are asleep (this occurs while David is on the run for his life from Saul), and Abishai is ready to kill Saul because he thinks God has delivered Saul into David's hand. However, David knows he must allow God to deal with Saul, so he does not allow Abishai to go through with the assassination. What follows then are numerous times when Abishai fights in David's service, even at one point asking if he can behead a man who is insulting David ( 2 Samuel 16). David again asks him to stay his hand.
In David's later life, he again finds himself facing a giant among the Philistines, this time one with the interesting name of Ishbi-benob. However, this time, David falls faint and who is there to save him and slay the giant? Abishai. And from whom did this gaint-killer learn the bravery and skill to slay a giant? Most likely, David. We read later in 2 Samuel 23 that he was a captain of three among David's might men and that he lifted up his spear against, and slew, three hundred men. Again, this skill and bravery was likely learned by the constant example of David, the slayer of "ten thousands". David took time to invest in Abishai. Despite his shortcomings and desire to sometimes act before thinking, he is not shown to have shared the fate of his brother Joab. Who but God knows what our investment in the life of another may mean in the course of this life? As the old saying goes, "The life you save may be your own." And as the G.I. Joe saying goes, "Now you know some of the imporantance of investing in others. And knowing is half the battle."
Father, thank you for the times I have been able to invest my time, talents, and treasure into the lives of others. Please forgive me for the times I let opportunities to do this slip by. Help us to be about your commission to spread the Gospel and to make disciples. Help us to forgive others' mistakes, to see beyond those mistakes to their potential, and to follow Your Holy Spirit as you lead us in mentoring them. In Your Son's Precious Name I pray, Amen.
On another of our recent trips to the children's library in Prarie Grove, Aidan ran across the dvd of "G.I. Joe: The Movie". When I read the back of the case, I was immediately transported back to my 7th or 8th grade years when this particular movie was shown as a mini-series during the normal G.I. Joe afternoon time slot. For five straight days, I remember trying to hurry my dad out of his classroom and into his truck so I wouldn't miss that day's installment. The basic plot involves the Joe team having to protect a Broadcast Energy Transmitter machine from the combined forces of Cobra and Cobra-La (a strange underground world inhabited by plant and insect-type creatures.) You find out in the movie that the ruler of Cobra-La is actually responsible for starting the whole Cobra organization to begin with, and his plan is to use the machine to activate spore weapons in space that will turn all the humans on earth into primitive forms of themselves (pretty heavy stuff for an afternoon cartoon), In somewhat of a subplot, there is a group of new G.I. Joe recruits that are going to have to prove themselves on this mission. One of these is Lt. Falcon, a capable but very irresponsible Green Beret. During one important sequence, he brings a date into the Joes' secret prison facility where they have Serpentor, the Cobra Emperor (it was always about snakes with them), held prisoner. The date turns out to be a Cobra spy, and while Lt. Falcon is busy trying to woo a fellow G.I. Joe (a female ninja; he tries to be a ladies' man) instead of watching the security cameras, Cobra forces are able to break in and rescue their emperor. This sets in motion the whole space spores turning people into animals plan.
Because this is one of numerous mistakes that Lt. Falcon has made, he is called before an armed services court to face court-martial. The court decides that Falcon should be court-martialed, and only the intervention of his half-brother Duke, a G.I. Joe Staff Sergeant, saves him from this fate. Duke tells the court that even though Falcon has made mistakes, he still believes he has a great deal of potential. It is then decided that Falcon will be sent to Sgt. Slaughter (a G.I. Joe and WWF wrestler!) for some much-needed training in focus and self-discipline. I won't give away the rest of the movie, but Falcon must learn to put his mistakes behind him and become the leader everyone sees in him so that he can do his part to save the day. At a later point, Duke even allows himself to be injured while protecting Falcon, a circumstance that helps motivate Falcon on his reluctant journey to leadership and action.
Now you might be saying: "Great trip down memory lane, but we've been talking recently out of Titus 1. What does this week's entry have to do with anything?" In Titus 1:8, Paul writes that a bishop must be "a lover of good men". In the Amplified Bible, this Scripture is translated as "a lover of goodness [of good people and good things]. My question this week is: How many of us are investing good things in good people? How many of us see people, even people who've made many mistakes, and thought, "I still see something good in that person. I want to invest in him or her"? Sometimes we may not know the effect our investment may have later on, even on our own lives. In 1 Samuel 26, we are introduced to Abishai, David's nephew, the son of David's half-sister Zeruiah. He and David inflitrate King Saul's camp by night while the king and his army are asleep (this occurs while David is on the run for his life from Saul), and Abishai is ready to kill Saul because he thinks God has delivered Saul into David's hand. However, David knows he must allow God to deal with Saul, so he does not allow Abishai to go through with the assassination. What follows then are numerous times when Abishai fights in David's service, even at one point asking if he can behead a man who is insulting David ( 2 Samuel 16). David again asks him to stay his hand.
In David's later life, he again finds himself facing a giant among the Philistines, this time one with the interesting name of Ishbi-benob. However, this time, David falls faint and who is there to save him and slay the giant? Abishai. And from whom did this gaint-killer learn the bravery and skill to slay a giant? Most likely, David. We read later in 2 Samuel 23 that he was a captain of three among David's might men and that he lifted up his spear against, and slew, three hundred men. Again, this skill and bravery was likely learned by the constant example of David, the slayer of "ten thousands". David took time to invest in Abishai. Despite his shortcomings and desire to sometimes act before thinking, he is not shown to have shared the fate of his brother Joab. Who but God knows what our investment in the life of another may mean in the course of this life? As the old saying goes, "The life you save may be your own." And as the G.I. Joe saying goes, "Now you know some of the imporantance of investing in others. And knowing is half the battle."
Father, thank you for the times I have been able to invest my time, talents, and treasure into the lives of others. Please forgive me for the times I let opportunities to do this slip by. Help us to be about your commission to spread the Gospel and to make disciples. Help us to forgive others' mistakes, to see beyond those mistakes to their potential, and to follow Your Holy Spirit as you lead us in mentoring them. In Your Son's Precious Name I pray, Amen.
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