Proverbs 18:22 (AMP) "He who finds a [true] wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord."
For this Manly Monday, I thought I would spend some time speaking about the one who stands next to this man. I can truly say in my life that through God's enormous favor and blessing, I have both found a good thing and obtained favor from the Lord.
Mandee came into my life at a time that I was not truly seeking a wife. Sure, the desire for a wife and family was still there, but I had surrendered that desire to God two years earlier and had decided through much prayer, study, and advice that the best thing for me to do would be to pour myself into the youth ministry that God had called me to. I had previously seen Mandee at my home church in Oklahoma, but spent most of the few minutes that morning catching up with her older sister, who I actually remembered a little better from school. Mandee is seven years younger than me, so in my mind, she was Shelly and Jason's little sister, and that's about all I knew about her. My memory from this particular morning is of her tending to our oldest niece and nephew in the background while Shelly and I talked for a few minutes. Little did I know that I would be seeing a lot more of her over the next few years...
As God would have it happen, Mandee's best friend was engaged and she and her fiancee were attending my home church. I, along with some of the other young adult men in our church, had recently taken an interest in Becky's fiancee, befriended him, and sought out opportunities to spend time with him. We decided to give him a Christian alternative to the usual bachelor party and that involved taking him to Little Rock for a couple of days for a Christian conference. Before we left Westville, we had to stop by our church so he could put in an appearance at a wedding shower and pose with Becky for a few pictures. Little did I know that at this wedding shower, my future wife was also waiting. The other guys and I stayed in the background for the presenting of the cake and pictures, then loaded back up to head to Little Rock. In the truck, I happened to ask Davis, the fiancee, who the young lady with the little girl was. His startled response? "That's Mandee, Becky's best friend. Everybody knows her." Well, apparently, I didn't recognize her!
About a month later, I was sitting in the Car-Mart waiting room in Fayetteville with my sister while my mom and brother talked business with a car sales manager in the back. Who should walk in but the same beautiful young woman from the wedding shower with the same little girl. My sister had been in the same grade as Mandee, so they talked awhile about different friends and what they were up to now. The conversation naturally turned to the fact that Mandee was a youth sponsor at her church in Fayetteville and I "happened" to mention that I was leading the college ministry at our church. I invited her to come to my class sometime and she said she would try to make it. While we were talking, her niece Alex used my legs for entertainment, swinging on them and trying out various gymnastics routines. Apparently, she already knew I was going to be her uncle, or at least she thought I made a good piece of playground equipment.
I didn't expect Mandee to come to class two weeks later, but as I walked to the back of our church to greet some of the college students, there she stood with Davis and Becky. I quickly made a beeline to one of our students who had been out of town and made a point of asking him about a recent trip. Needless to say, I was nervous about talking to this young lady who I was already becoming very interested in. After service, Mandee teased me a little (she swears she wasn't trying to) about being more interested in the student's trip to Hawaii than in talking to her. If only she had known! That summer, I busied myself with preparing for a mission trip to Monterrey, Mexico. I would be helping lead a team of twenty students in street and drama ministry and my focus was own preparing sermons and memorizing drama parts and movements. At that point, I had pushed Mandee to the back of my mind to focus on the trip. When I returned from my two-week trip, my mom and sister picked me up at the airport. I was worn out and ready for a little R and R, so I wasn't ready for one of the first things my mom asked me: "Guess who sat by me at church Sunday?" My tired mind reeled its way through the faces of my mom's friends and I took a few guesses. "No, Mandee Kennedy." Well, that had my attention immediately. I had been seeking God about opening a door for me to receive further ministry training, and as God had planned it, Mandee's dad was teaching Berean Bible courses at his church in Fayetteville. Mandee had left her phone number with my mom in case I wanted to call her and find out more about it.
The first time I called, I spoke with Mandee's dad. The second time I called (Yes, second. I wanted to get her opinion on the classes) I talked with her on the phone for four hours! Talking with her was so easy and I found that we had many of the same dreams and passions. Soon I was enrolled in the classes and I approached my first session with much anticipation and nervousness. I wanted to be where God wanted me to be, but I didn't want my feelings for Mandee to be a distraction to her or to me. So I waited. And waited. Several weeks into the courses and after much prayer and seeking of godly counsel, I decided to approach Mandee's dad about pursuing a courtship with her. The three things he said to me that night were both funny and profound: 1. "You want to talk about Mandee, huh? It's been a while since I had to beat up a guy (Thankfully, he was only joking!), 2. "Mandee will let you know herself if you are out of line.", and 3 "Follow your heart". Those of you who know my father-in-law understand the weight of that last statement. So it was with his blessing that I found myself standing out side our classroom building on a Thursday night in Septermber 2001 asking a beautiful young woman to enter into courtship with me. Her response? "Yes" Hallejuah and Praise the Lord! The fact that I didn't speed back to Westville that night was only because of His protection and mercy.
Fast forward...within two weeks we were engaged and within six months, we were married. I don't recommend that for everyone unless you know that you know that you know God is in it. This next April 20, we will celebrate nine years of marriage together. Sometimes all the changes in that time make my head spin: four children, multiple moves, youth pastor positions at two different churches, five faith-building and humbling months living with my in-laws, three years on staff at Teen Challenge, one miscarriage, two major surgeries for me, me becoming a teacher, relocating to south Arkansas, one major surgeries for Mandee, and finally, returning to NW Arkansas this summer. To say it's been an adventure would be an understatement. Through it all, God has kept His faithful hand upon us, and time again, He has used the "good thing" He provided in His good time, to encourage me, to remind me of His love and grace, to support me, and to just be there for me. Mandee is a constant blessing. I'm amazed at her love for our God, her love for our children, and the gifts God has bestowed upon her. She can preach, draws awesome house plans, makes the best no-bake cookies in the world (just ask anyone who was at last week's Fall Party), keeps me humble by beating me at chess and Battleship, encourages and develops our kid's bents and talents, and paints some of the most amazing landscapes and abstracts you're ever going to see. If you have a special lady in your life, be it a spouse, mom, or sister, thank God for her. He put her there for a reason. If you don't have a wife yet, trust God with that, just as you trust Him for your salvation. He will bring her to you in His time. And, like Isaac when he was in the field and saw Rebekah, you will know she is for you.
Please pray with me. Father, thank you for my wife. I know you gave her to me because I couldn't have found the one just right for me on my own. I tried and tried, but failed each time. When I surrendered this part of my life to You, and poured myself into the things and tasks you had for me, just like Adam after he had named the animals, you brought to me the one who is "bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh". She truly is a blessing to me. I ask you to be with her spirit, to encourage her, and to help me to let her know what a blessing and love she is to me. May I be a channel of your grace, love, protection, strength, and mercy to her just as you make her to me. I love you Lord, and ask that our marriage be an example of Your love for the church. In Jesus' Name I pray, Amen.
I love you, Mandee!
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