Last week I quoted a small part of Titus 2:5 that instructs the 'old women' to teach the 'young women' to be homemakers. I've been thinking since then, what is a homemaker really? Webster's online dictionary defines it as "one who manages a household especially as a wife and mother." Wow! Can we go back to the definition being one who doesn't work outside the home and watches soaps and eats bonbons all day?
I remember when I quit my job after Jeff and I were only married a short time. I had never intended to be a stay home wife (at the time I wasn't even a mother), but it only took a couple of months for me to realize my ideals as a wife weren't meshing too well with being a career woman. One of the guys that cleaned the office heard I was leaving and made that all too common joke about the soaps and bonbons. How very wrong he was, and the fact that he was an older gentleman was the only thing that kept me from making a smart remark in return.
I have never lacked for work to do inside the home, but I know many women who are able to have a career and still be a shining example of a homemaker. I don't know how they do it. I have learned in the short 8 years of marriage a few tricks that work for me. I love flylady.com Its not for everyone, but she changed my life...when I'm sticking to my schedule. I have adapted what I learned from her many times over the years, but you will almost always find the excel page labeled 'control journal' open on my desktop.
I am an excel freak. I have kept track of everything I bought for several months straight and how much each item cost. This has all been compiled into two sheets, one for household needs and one for groceries. Our budget is on a spread sheet as well as our check registry. The aforementioned control journal is a book of about four sheets that detail the different stages of cleaning that I do. All of this, yet as I sit here typing tonight, I am surrounded by papers, silly bands, yarn, nail polish, ipod, shoes, toys, and the list could go on. WHY???
I'd say, at this point it is because our lives have transitioned once again, and its time to revamp that journal. It may take a couple of months to find the groove again, but it will come back around. I would also say that it has to do with the need for self motivation on my part. I can be the type to get overwhelmed and shut down. This is the reason for all of my lists. I have learned for myself that having a place to start at number one and work my way down makes a huge difference. I have also learned that I really love helping others figure out how to best plan their own days. Not something I would have ever considered before.
Here's a few tips that I remind myself of often.
1. The mess will be there tomorrow. (and if it isn't, you'll have a nice surprise) No, you won't like waking up to it, but sometimes you have to accept that you've done all you can for one day. That stack of laundry won't fold itself, so you can just do it tomorrow.
2. Stick to your list. This I learned from FlyLady. Don't do yesterday's work today. I have to remind myself of this with the detail cleaning the most. If something happens and you miss a job, don't try to backtrack. You will never catch up! The rest of the household will see to that.
3. Ask for help. A good manager knows how to delegate. This is especially important to the lady's who work outside the home. Maintaining a home takes more than one person. Start teaching the kids at an early age, and ask your husband for help. If he is loving you as Christ loved the church, he should be looking for ways to ease your burden! Jeff has gotten into the habit of almost always unloading the dishwasher for me in the mornings while I am busy making breakfast. Be willing to help him from time to time as well!
4. Have fun. I use a timer (another FlyLady trick) for most of my chores. I also use it to set aside time to play with Rileigh during the day. I also try to have as much of the cleaning done as possible before Jeff and the kids get home in order to focus on family time and dinner. A clean house simply isn't worth missing out on great memory opportunities.
5. Kid clutter isn't dirty. A friend pointed that out to me a few years ago. She said she didn't consider a house dirty if the only thing in the floor were kids' toys and shoes. Trash, dirty dishes, and unwashed laundry, now that's dirty. I pick up the toys and clutter from the main parts of the house right before time for Jeff to get home each day, but from Friday night to Monday morning, its a lost cause. I could pick up nonstop, but with four small ones I'd never out clean their messes. Therefore, I don't even try. On the weekends, we keep the clothes picked up and the dishes clean. We do attempt one good clean Saturday evening after bathes. I want my kids to be able to live and have fun in their childhood home. They can't do that if its overly dirty, but they can't do enjoy themselves if they are afraid to make a mess either.
What are some ways you manage your household?
Heavenly Father, thank you for giving me a household to manage. I am humbled by the responsibility and honored that you saw fit to allow this for me. Please help me to be a good steward of the precious gifts you have given me in the form of a husband, children, and a home. Give me wisdom to manage our home in a way that brings glory to Your Name. I love you and thank you. Amen!
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